I'm surprised that St Pancras Station wasn't on the list with its workstation, tools and guidance for packing your bike to go on the Eurostar

That could be because of the site update and the way seo works but it might not. It might be because we're an elite force tasked with saving cycling from itself, quietly and stealthily, one rider at a time or summat like that

Bearbonesnorm wrote: ↑Sat May 01, 2021 6:38 pm elite force

That reminds me, I forgot to add the required pre-emptive preface to my original post:

>Awooga! AA-WOOOOOOGA!!<

Warning! Warning! Elitism Alert! Stand clear! Stand clear!

Bearbonesnorm wrote: ↑Sat May 01, 2021 6:38 pm elite force

That's BDS's 'camo' Altaplex(*) giving you funny ideas again. You'll be tucking ferns and twigs into your helmet again next.

(*) sorry, sorry, Stevo, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it alright..

You need to search the black web Reg where you'll find BBB at the forefront of keeping BP niche.

Code-breakers have been trying to translate the, what would appear to be, obvious secret messages hidden within posts on the forum which are causing those not 'in the know' to quite simply not have a clue what is going on half the time

But, we know....

psling wrote: ↑Sat May 01, 2021 6:53 pm You need to search the black web Reg where you'll find BBB at the forefront of keeping BP niche.

Code-breakers have been trying to translate the, what would appear to be, obvious secret messages hidden within posts on the forum which are causing those not 'in the know' to quite simply not have a clue what is going on half the time

But, we know....

Err, we do? Oops, sorry, yes yes, we do. Of course we do!

Anyroad, it's more like inverted snobbery. How can it be elitist to lie in a ditch with a slug on your nose?

RIP wrote: ↑Fri Apr 30, 2021 6:21 pm ...someone amused (usually childishly I unashamedly admit) by language...

Just heard a non-cyclist refer to road cyclists dressed "head-to-toe in Velcro" .

That's quite a commitment, especially if worn scratchy-side inwards .

MuddyPete wrote: ↑Sat May 01, 2021 9:42 pm

RIP wrote: ↑Fri Apr 30, 2021 6:21 pm ...someone amused (usually childishly I unashamedly admit) by language...

Just heard a non-cyclist refer to road cyclists dressed "head-to-toe in Velcro" .

That's quite a commitment, especially if worn scratchy-side inwards .

Verena wrote: ↑Sun May 02, 2021 7:02 am

MuddyPete wrote: ↑Sat May 01, 2021 9:42 pm

RIP wrote: ↑Fri Apr 30, 2021 6:21 pm ...someone amused (usually childishly I unashamedly admit) by language...

Just heard a non-cyclist refer to road cyclists dressed "head-to-toe in Velcro" .

That's quite a commitment, especially if worn scratchy-side inwards .

Just has to find another cyclist dressed head to toe in Velcro scratchy-side outwards - match made in heaven, inseparable for life

Day early again

Not really a "cheery" thing, but we still haven't got a "random bollocks pub" thread so here will have to do.

https://www.rt.com/uk/522959-redpilled- ... nly-hotel/

“If you don’t like dogs, we don’t like you… take your money and your criticism [and] shove it up you’re ass.” Punctuation not his strong suit it seems.

Could probably transplant the establishment to Torquay and make a telly sitcom about it......

Any explanations for your/you're countryman Sean?

As far as I've heard, I think basically the story is this,

Rich bloke buys the hotel
Gives it to his son to do with whatever he wants*
Paints the outside black with edgy murals
Council and everyone in the area gets the hump about the appearance
They hold 'theme' nights which are basically brothel crossed with a crack den**

I don't know how it doesn't get raided by the police every night, perhaps this will be just the excuse they need seeing as they have stated they will be breaking the law.

*Presumably just to get rid of him
**They might just want people to think this, I've never been, they might just sit around knitting. I do know the service is terrible.

Hopefully a very cheery Friday today...

Our small and otherwise mundane suburban garden is dominated by two lovely apple trees at the bottom (south) end. Unfortunately that's not the whole story, as they're dwarfed by two huge leylandii just over the fence in the neighbour's garden. These block out the sun across our whole garden for a large part of the day, and I think are starving the apple trees of light and water.

You fear the worst with these things having heard all the stories about neighbourly disputes, but, to cut a long story short, we talked to them, offered to contribute a bit towards the cost, and they've arranged to get them removed Today is the day, assuming the tree surgeon shows up. We could have argued it was entirely their responsibility, but £200 we're chipping (no pun intended) in will probably be the best we'll ever spend on the house. A win for everyone, and a rare victory for common sense and diplomacy.

I shall report back post operation.

Well I’m cheery, and on the correct day
Finished work early so pulled the bike out the van and I’ve been bimbling around the chilterns, currently in Hazlemere eating chips and drinking coke, going to buy some beer

thenorthwind wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 6:33 am Hopefully a very cheery Friday today...

Our small and otherwise mundane suburban garden is dominated by two lovely apple trees at the bottom (south) end. Unfortunately that's not the whole story, as they're dwarfed by two huge leylandii just over the fence in the neighbour's garden. These block out the sun across our whole garden for a large part of the day, and I think are starving the apple trees of light and water.

...

I shall report back post operation.

Dave, Leylandii do tend to strip the ground of nutrients. One side of our garden was Leylandii when we moved here. After a couple of years we got them ripped out (the other "side" is a green lane/BW) and fifteen years later you can still see that the soil is denuded at that side of the garden.

Hopefully the tree surgeons have grubbed out the stumps as well, they didn't with us and it took a lot of work getting the stumps out as I was building a dry stone wall as a new boundary and didn't want things collapsing.

Talking of white stone, my headstone is definitely going to be made of limestone. None of that boring gritstone (I mean how often do WHOLE RIVERS just disappear into a gritstone riverbed eh? [See my April BaM]). I'm a White Peak man. In fact it won't be either of those, it'll be a yew tree. Is contemplating your own mortality cheery? Hmm.

How'd it go 'Wind? Greenhouse not smashed to smithereens by the shrapnel hopefully? As Bob says, earth now scorched unfortunately. We removed ours when we moved in 30 years ago. Had to put a shed on the spot in the end.

Nice one Stevo - "beer". Can't go wrong. I curated (arg, helllpp, calling TBD.....) my own list of vanilla porters last night. Even Landslide was impressed so it must be good . Just got to get them all now. Brewerypacking anyone???

RIP wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 6:44 pm In fact it won't be either of those, it'll be a yew tree.

No, go on then, I'll have a little piece of limestone next to the tree as well. Maybe a single piece of old railway ballast (preferably from Tunstead quarry, where the limestone premier crus are extracted) as that would be showing willing with the recycling angle. Recycled ballast, recycled body. I like it.

Since it is is indeed CF, let's hear your gravestone options. Actually some of my favourite bivvy spots have been actual graveyards so the easiest thing would be to BaM in a particularly nice one and not bother waking up - hijack someone else's stone.

Headstone made of a bike frame perhaps? Or a giant tussock?

I'm more inclined towards a Viking funeral. Push me off into the sunset in a flaming longboat.

In a more cheery vein, Mrs L and I have been together for 15 years today. She's celebrating by going out with her friends.

I've always fancied the idea of building my own neolithic style burial chamber ... a project for the summer perhaps.

Landslide wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 6:59 pm Push me off into the sunset in a flaming longboat.

Excellent idea. But you're about as far from the sea as you can get? Who's going to do the pushing to either Prestatyn beach (99 miles due west of you) or Mablethorpe (*) beach (97 miles due east of you)? You can't set fire to a longboat in the middle of Sheffield. They'd have something to say about it. Ratepayers and all that. Blimey, see what happened with the roadside trees (rebellion! good for them) never mind a bloody longboat.

(*) Mablethorpe! Fantastic. Used to spend loads of holidays there as a kid. Reckoned it was the epitome of holiday locations. Funfairs, sand, donkeys, best crazy golf in the world, fresh doughnuts. Didn't know anything about "forn parts". If I had, maybe my thoughts would have been different. No, now I know all about "forn parts" and I still think Mablethorpe is the epitome of holiday locations .

Landslide wrote: Mrs L and I have been together for 15 years today. She's celebrating by going out with her friends.

Good old Mrs L. She's got you sussed.

15th? "Crystal" anniversary. Got her one? Or apparently the "modern equivalent" is "Watches" anniversary. Erm, nice timepiece of some sort?

Bearbonesnorm wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 7:01 pm I've always fancied the idea of building my own neolithic style burial chamber ... a project for the summer perhaps.

Ooh, yes, that'd be unusual.

I'm a bit put off by the details though: "Neolithic skeletons were not buried; they were simply placed around the north wall of the cave, surrounded by some burial goods. Their extremities were bent; corpses’ extreme foetal positions indicate that they probably were tied and wrapped in a shroud."

Bent extremities??? Ouch. You can keep your hands off my extremities thank you.

But you're OK, "burial goods" - you're still on for being buried with that shopper, and a few seatpacks, meths stoves, and so on. In fact just put all your togs on, load the bike up, and get 'em to shove all that lot in the mound. You'll be all set for an eternity of bikepacking on the other side .

Well this has gone weird, even for Reg on a Friday

Some years ago my brother was having some building work done on the farm. The excavator also had a rock pecker (big FO jackhammer) so he part jokingly asked the driver to dig him a grave as he wanted to be buried on the farm. The guy duly obliged. So for a few years there was this grave shaped hole in the field in front of the house until the council heard about it and made him fill it in for "safety reasons".

Should he decide to sell the farm before he pops his clogs the sale particulars would be interesting:

one grave - unoccupied but reserved.

whitestone wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 7:28 pm Well this has gone weird, even for Reg on a Friday

Some years ago my brother was having some building work done on the farm. The excavator also had a rock pecker (big FO jackhammer) so he part jokingly asked the driver to dig him a grave as he wanted to be buried on the farm. The guy duly obliged. So for a few years there was this grave shaped hole in the field in front of the house until the council heard about it and made him fill it in for "safety reasons".

Should he decide to sell the farm before he pops his clogs the sale particulars would be interesting:

one grave - unoccupied but reserved.

It was the "whitestone" / "white stone" thing that set me off - so it's all your fault Bob, nowt to do with me!

(That's a superb story by the way).

RIP wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 7:15 pm Excellent idea. But you're about as far from the sea as you can get? Who's going to do the pushing to either Prestatyn beach (99 miles due west of you) or Mablethorpe (*) beach (97 miles due east of you)? You can't set fire to a longboat in the middle of Sheffield. They'd have something to say about it.

Maybe Ladybower?

RIP wrote: 15th? "Crystal" anniversary. Got her one? Or apparently the "modern equivalent" is "Watches" anniversary. Erm, nice timepiece of some sort?

It's not our wedding anniversary, that's tomorrow. 11 years, so steel. "What's that my love? The custom frame isn't your size? Oh gosh darn it."