Chilterns Spring (sic) Thing

[RIP]

Conservative Party currently in charge of Wembley Power Signalbox - everything ground to a halt and nobody sure what's going on. Curiously the only train which claims to be on time at the moment, or indeed moving at all, is the 14.34 from LB to Berkhamsted which is the one I planned for.

Various other contestants currently converging on the unsuspecting burghers of Berkhamsted.

We shall see what we shall see.

R

[TheBrownDog]

The wettest Chilly Springy Thingy since records began. And the most painful thanks to a hammock fail which dumped me onto the ground with a mega thud. I've done a rotor cuff, I just know it.

Super brilliant to get The Band Back Together.

[RIP]

Aye, moist is the word we're looking for. First day not too bad, wobbling around the bridleways and lanes of the Chilterns, courtesy of Rich3rd whom we last met buried under a carpark in Leicester - taking bivvy sheltering to an extreme. A cascade of poppies greeted us at Ley Hill.



I found that this roadside convenience was particularly, er convenient. Perspective can be deceptive though. It was only 12" high. Either that or Pickers behind it was only 6" high.



A rather curious location for a traffic cone.



After a slight diversion into Amersham to pick up a new water bottle for Reg, after the existing one mysteriously exited stage left during the ride. Much consternation took place in T*sco after I requested that a member of staff accompanied me outside with my selected beverage bottle so that I could test that it fitted in my bottle harness. I think he thought I was some sort of ultra-polite shoplifter who asked nicely before legging it with the booty. Anyway, nobody got arrested and we continued on into the gathering gloom, finally reaching the boozer at about 7pm. It was fantastic to get some of the Old Firm back together again, although some absent friends had to be toasted instead. Who were they? Don't know, they were absent.

Happily, drinks were drunk, STP was consumed with gusto (*), and enormous quantities of bollocks were spoken, as per usual. Actually, Mr BrownDog declined the obligatory STP, and went off-piste with apple pie and custard. Two helpings. In the same bowl. At the same time. Scandalous.

(*) like pesto I think. Only it was vanilla ice-cream flavoured.



We'll say no more about the conversations, but next time you see him do please ask Tim about the disemboweled dog, the graveyard and the policeman.

After more IPA and Rebellion (an appropriate ale name for a bikepacker methinks), we hied ourselves off up the woods. As mentioned above, our Tim was already in residence with hammock pre-installed. Surely that's cheating?



Ben produced his Trailstar knock-off, Rich3rd some other contraption, and Pickers his Lunar Solo. I had decided to return to basics, despite the ludicrous weather forecast, and extracted my 8 x 10 DD superlight tarp. I'd forgotten how fantastic a flat tarp is, having been seduced by my Gatewood cape recently. In one of my fastest, er, erections ever (not that I've previously had any complaints), flying diamond configuration: it was a quick slippery half hitch of one corner round a tree, pull opposite corner out, peg it down, one more peg either side, and shove a BBB 48g carbon pole up inside with a barend-plug stuck on the top end. 20 seconds I reckon, if that.



Absolutely palatial underneath, easy to get changed sitting up, and roll everything out. Sweet dreams..... g'night Jim Bob... 'night Mary-Ellen... 'night Mom... 'night Dad.... silence.

[RIP]

Ridiculously warm night. Well Reg, if you will bring your winter -10c PHD Hispar 400 what do you expect. The deer barked themselves hoarse during the night, then an enormous, but short, thunderstorm kicked off. As a result of my open-plan sleeping arrangements I had a superb view of the proceedings. Then the heavy rain started. At some point I saw a lunatic mountain biker riding past in the pissing rain. Which idiot would be out in this at this time in the morning? Answer: see above, re collapsing hammock, as we later discovered.

Anyway, we all survived the deluge, and packed up and away by 07.30. In fact I was as dry as a bone, proving that a simple tarp can handle pretty much any weather conditions contrary to what some may think. No bivvy bag either. The only downside of the tarp is, as it's silnylon, it weighs a ton during rain and is a devil to pack. Maybe I "need" an 8 x 10 DCF one to go with my 7 x 9 DCF. Although Ben reckoned there's yet another new wonder fabric that weighs less than DCF, cheaper, blah blah. We set off in the pissing rain, which is definitely BBB Standard Bikepacking Weather. The roads were flooded, cars were crashing into each other, cars were drowning in lakes on the roads etc etc. We sloshed our way aqueously to a very snazzy cafe in Chalfont St Giles (yes, yes, off you go..... "ooh, ouch, arg, ooh, me chalfonts".... etc etc). A classic BBB Chilterns establishment it served avocado on sourdough or in wraps, plus a turmeric oat latte whatever one of those may be. Full breakfasts all round.



By this time the roads were awash, and so were we. At one point, bafflingly we saw a bloke walking towards us in the downpour. He was wearing a tracksuit. On the way back from the gym perhaps? "There's a big deep ford back there", quoth he. How did he navigate it we wondered?

Like a bunch of amateurs we made our way back to Berkhamsted mainly on-road, although they were easily mistaken for rivers. Then again, we were laughing our heads off at the lunacy. Reg The Rain God strikes again!

But of course, when we were within a mile of base, the deluge stopped, the sun came out and we were now far too hot!



Another Chilterns jape concluded then. It was great to meet the guys, and I think we should be having a Chilterns Autumn Thing next April.

No cheese was harmed in the making of this ride.

Although, strangely, one Ti V peg snapped. Not entirely sure how, considering I was pitched on leaf-mould.

'Reg'

PS> Oh, kit chat: my now standard "storm garb" worked perfectly again. Sports sandals (easy to slip on/off, quick-dry), waterproof socks, Madison Tempest shorts, no shreddies, Berghaus Paclite troosers, bamboo base top, 325g fleece, Marmot Essence jacket (195g, superb bit of gear, armpit vents, I think I'm the last of us not to have succumbed to the so-called lure of Outdry, bone-dry underneath after a day of heavy rain), plus BBB "compass" jersey. Warm dry hands, courtesy of windproof, waterproof, breathable, Showa Temres 281 "super marigolds". Again, bone dry inside afterwards, they work in all seasons, not going to bother with any sort of padded "waterproof" gloves etc in future now.

[Pickers]

“It was only 12" high. Either that or Pickers behind it was only 6" high.”

This…. Small….. Pickers….. far away!

[RIP]

Well played Sir!

[fatbikephil]

Looks a good trip, hammock fall sounds a bit painful though... think I'll stick tot he ground....

[TheBrownDog]

Looks a good trip, hammock fall sounds a bit painful though... think I'll stick tot he ground....

Yep. Got a big bump on the back of my noggin and a branch shaped bruise over my back. I spent an hour or so faffing about in the dark, making a brew and moaning loudly but no one came to give me any sympathy and my shoulders were slowly but sure solidifying, so I just got the hell out of Dodge just as the first rainstorm hit.

I missed the ride in as I was in London touring an art college with my daughter and was looking forward to the morning ride to the cafe. Poop.

But. Very pleased we got the Chilterns Spring Thing done and reconnect with the solid core of the originals. Especially great to see Pickers back on form and smiling - big ups to you mate. We missed BigDummySteve due to his knees, MuddyPete due to family priorities and JamesO was a late health scratch. Hope you’re ok pal.

Bloody love my BBB mates. See you all in March 2023 for the 2022 Chilterns Autumn Leaf Blower.

[Dr Nick]

Sad I missed this.
Looks like fun! Are lapsed Chiltern-ites welcome at the March 2023 - 2022 Chilterns Autumn Leaf Blower?

[TheBrownDog]

Nick mate yep for sure. Someone will add you to the group chat. You still riding that Airnimal?

[TheBrownDog]

Nick mate yep for sure. Someone will add you to the group chat. You still riding that Airnimal?

[benp1]

This was a cracking little trip. Thanks all for the company and the banter. There was a lot of laughter in the pub

My favourite bit of the trip was the full bore belly laugh the woman outside the cafe let out when she got the answer to her question of where we slept and what in, it was hilarious. Smiling just thinking about it in fact

Lovely to have company when riding through that ridiculous weather, it was very wet but at least it wasn’t cold. In fact the whole weekend was very mild, I don’t remember being that hot while trying to sleep in ages

Sorry that a few couldn’t make it, hope to see you next time

[Dr Nick]

Nick mate yep for sure. Someone will add you to the group chat. You still riding that Airnimal?

Excellent. thanks!

Nope, the airnimal is sitting in the shed unused, as I no longer have a daily commute, unless the walk to the front room counts.

[RIP]

[Verena]

Looks like brilliant fun chaps , well apart from the hammock fall, can't believe noone woke up or helped...

Rain god in superb form too I see

[Mbnut]

Blimey, that was some read...

Glad to see you are all in fine form.

Hopefully a catch up under a bush sometime soon, you know, like in the next 6 months or so.

[RIP]

Yeah missed you Nige. Chilterns Autumn Thing in April .

[TheBrownDog]

Blimey, that was some read...

Glad to see you are all in fine form.

Hopefully a catch up under a bush sometime soon, you know, like in the next 6 months or so.

Crikey. Nigel, man. You can come to the 2022 Chilterns Leaf Blower in March 2023 if you promise to be fat and slow.

Hang on a mite …. We need to get the Chilterns Winter Bivvy done first. I think. Fark. Where’s Marty McFly when you need him?

[Mbnut]

Back in the game now so happy to get some dates in the diary.