OT question for the over 50's.

[MuddyPete]

I've never heard it called a "metric" before, though .

It alway seems bigger, measured in metric

[Bearbonesnorm]

I've always figured that the thing you need to remember about regret is that, what you now regret was probably once something you really wanted.

[Cheeky Monkey]

I regret getting the clap. I never wanted it, at any time.

Your homily is pants Stu

[rando nomad]

I turned 50 last year (worst timing ever!) and I did find myself over the last year, getting back in touch with some friends that I hadn't spoken to for many years due to us moving out of Canada. Mostly just catching up and seeing what was up, nothing really deep or such coming out of it. I have looked back a bit over some choices and such, but I figure that introspection will help with the next 20 years of life, rather then hold it back.

[Verena]

I did some work with an older gentleman once, and he was riven with thoughts of 'what if'?

So, I did some digging and some background research. There is a great piece of research (I will find the link) and it asked questions about regret.

The topline up shot is that we regret those things we don't do much more than we regret the things we do. There are lots of examples, but the most powerful was a couple. He was 17 and going to the war, so he didn't ask his sweetheart out on a date. She was really sad he didn't, but accepted it and off he went. The war finished, he stayed in London where he was demobbed, she stayed in their hometown.
Fast forward 55 years (yes 55!) and he moved to a nursing home near his home town as he hadn't married and was going back to be near his nephews and brother etc. (Has anyone guessed where this is going?) In the same nursing home was the lady he didn't ask out. Neither of them had ever married, had serious relationships and were just basically frozen in time. He said that he had regretted not asking her out his whole life.

They got married in the nursing home.

So, do it people, especially those younger of you, just do it and you regret if for a way shorter period of time. On average people regretted what they did do for around 18 months to 2 years (unless it's murder or something). Regret about what we don't do was around 17-20 years on average!

Awww I've just finished work and thought I'd see what's on here.... what a story, so sad yet also so lovely Great thought that, that we regret things more that we didn't do....Cheers for that

[MuddyPete]

... just do it and you regret if for a way shorter period of time....

Hmmm...with so many interesting choices in life it would be helpful to clone oneself multiple times; to take both choices at each decision, eventually existing in multiple parallel universes and see how all options turn out .

Then at the end just edit together the most fabulous bits and live them all again ...

....but with the benefit of hindsight ....

...and foresight .

[Fat tyre kicker]

I'm 53, in a reasonable job ( as in I don't hate it), my wife and I have
Struggled financially for quite a few years as she's studied and is now a midwife,
We've just started to turn round our situation and enjoy life when our son (21) was
Taken from us recently, it's turned my thinking completely on its head and
Hopefully I'll focus on quality not quantity memories in my latter years. We had
Got trips planned ( my son and I ), another TT trip this year obviously didn't happen
Because of Covid, just need to strengthen my resolve now and still make the
Things happen.....it does make you acutely aware of the old 'one life..live it' slogan
Even if it gets on your nerves

[psling]

OK, so I'm over 50 but not old
I don't look back as such; after all, I can't change anything. I do have memories though, good ones and bad ones. I especially like the ones that come up whilst reminiscing with old mates; the memories I don't remember but are often of the best moments It's a cliché I know but they're what make you the person you are.
Looking forward? Well, we all have our dreams - you only have to read the early retirement thread to see that - but dreams themselves very rarely reach a conclusion. In reality we can make plans and take steps towards achieving them but compromises are usually necessary. For instance, I always dreamt of officially becoming a dirty old man. Well, that's not going to happen now, is it, in this day and age! Things change. Like most, I make plans. Some have changed, some are happening. I am a committee of one which possibly makes things easier, I've been relatively lucky in life and am fortunate enough to still be able to enjoy getting out and doing things I want to do. We live in the real world though and have to deal with the occasional curve-ball thrown our way. Like f*#¶ing pandemics and the management thereof.

[MuddyPete]

.... f*#¶ing pandemics...

Perhaps that's what will follow a year of enforced isolation caused by the Covid pandemic .

[psling]

.... f*#¶ing pandemics...

Perhaps that's what will follow a year of enforced isolation caused by the Covid pandemic .

It'll be just like the 60s and the summer of love all over again

Oops. Looking back again....