How do you get your consent form signed (by the missus)?

[Firmo]

I've been planning, for quite some time, a nice little cycling trip. I'll take 10-days off from the wife and kids to cycle 1,000km in Spain in what I consider a bit of 'self-development' time, where I brush up on my Spanish too.

I know my route, I know when I want to go, I've got the kit, and I've got Skyscanner sending me the daily update on the changes in flight prices.

The only problem is getting my wife to let me do it.

I'm not a lap dog. I do have a good degree of life outside of the family time, and regularly enjoy several nights away at a time. But on this occasion she objects to me going away 'in the sun on a mini holiday without the family'.

I know I won't be the only one who's ever faced this dilemma... So I am looking for advice / solutions to get the thumbs up from here. Can you help?

[Bearbonesnorm]

I can't actually help as I tend to suffer the opposite and am often told to bugger off

However, I used to ride with someone who used the angle that, the time they spent away de-stressed them and allowed them to focus on the important stuff in life. This made them a far nicer person to live with for the remaining 50 weeks of the year for all concerned.

Could you not suggest that your good lady does something / goes somewhere herself once you return while you look after the house / kids?

A trip here might sweeten the deal: http://www.hoarcross.co.uk/

[Firmo]

Cheers Stu.

Yeah, I do play that card, that going away does revitalise me and I come back refreshed and de-stressed.

And I also have suggested many-a-time that she can have some time to herself, but because she works away regularly, she always just wants to stay home.

I honestly think I am going to have to get her drunk one evening, then book the flights :D

Hahaha, and I think you're a lucky man having a partner that wants to get rid of you!! I'm quite envious

[Taylor]

And I also have suggested many-a-time that she can have some time to herself, but because she works away regularly, she always just wants to stay home.

I also have the same problem.

[Dan_K]

We have an agreement whereby I can do trips providing they're not "detrimental to the family". Which means not using all my leave (and reducing family holiday time) and also not too expensive.
I have a work arrangement where I do compressed hours over 4 days meaning I can have long weekends easily.

10 days is a bit long though. Think I can stretch to a week but then I'd probably find it you getting permission too! Can you compromise and shorten the trip?

[Cheeky Monkey]

Ask whilst she's in the afterglow.

Sorry, I have no practical suggestions or worthwhile suggestions

[drain]

10 days to do the whole Via de la Plata is going some anyway, so I think less than 10 days (including travel there and back) would be a very tall order. We did the standard Camino Frances in 9.5 days of off-road riding in 2011 and again this year and, despite not flogging ourselves, it was pretty tiring this year given the flaky weather (sun, snow, rain, winds).

Like Stu says, the riding keeps you sane (or in my case, restored it?!), and it means your kids should have a dad who's fit and healthy and more fun to be with for longer.

That said, there is a balance and it is difficult when you'd like to reciprocate for your other half but she won't take you up on the offer. Perhaps short break/pamper offers might be more to her liking than her going away for an equivalent time?

[jameso]

I feel quite lucky when reading things like this. My partner accepts that I need my bike-time and 10-12 day trips or even the 3-4 week TD are no issue. We don't have kids but it does mean compromises on our holiday time etc.
So I can't offer advice that gets you the 'ok' and every relationships different, but if you trust each other and know each other well, I just don't see why you'd not allow your partner to do what they like, within sensible reason : ) It's only 10-12 days after all, not like you're asking for a year in a Tibetan retreat as part of a mid-life westerner crisis! Whether she wants to or not, you'd let her go on a 'girl's holiday' right?

Good luck )

[ScotRoutes]

In the past couple of years, my Mrs has trekked to Everest Base Camp, done the West Highland Way and climbed Mount Toubkal. I guess it's just part of who we are that we each take time off on our own. There must surely be something that Mrs Firmo has ambition to do. Might not be holidays away, perhaps study, or be in a book group, or gym??

[Bearbonesnorm]

Have you considered just telling her "you're nipping out for a paper"?

[Yorlin]

Get the wife and kids to meet you at the finish point? Or rather, a nice hotel/resort nearby? And by meet, I mean they get there a few days before you :D

(thinking of Michael Moore's cycle books, that's how he handled his wife'n'kids)

[Ray Young]

I feel for you mate but I don't have the answer. My wife worries about me when i'm away but does let me go. Unfortunately she has a lot of ill health so my time away is limited to about 3 days as I always need someone to agree to help her if she needs it when i'm gone.

[Bearbonesnorm]

I suppose there's always the manly art of sulking as a fail-safe fallback

[jameso]

Have you considered just telling her "you're nipping out for a paper"?

Winner :D Gotta be worth a try if all else fails.

[voodoo_simon]

I don't do that badly. Longest trip I've had is 12 days driving to and back from Morzine to watch a few stages of the TdF and I've had plenty of mini trips too. The wife goes away with the girls, so it's all balances out (in fact, missing each other/having your own space for a few days is healthy for a relationship).

We have a baby due in May, so I think that may change though. Will have to make the most of this winter

None of that helps you in anyway shape or form

[Mpolo]

Hi this is actually mPolo's partner aka The Missus.
What you need to do is some major sucking up.
Make her endless cups of tea
Cook dinner
Suggest that you watch the kids while she goes shopping (with your CC)
Tell her every day how fabulous she is, then she will either
a, think you want something, having an affair (and ask you) or
b, tell you to go on a long trip as you are getting on her nerves

The afterglow treatment only works on men, that's when we get consent for anything or before offering special services such as B...

You will clean and tidy up after yourself (toilet seat down, loo roll changed not left with 2 sheets on it)
Send her nice text messages, and whatever you do make sure you answer her texts promptly.
Let her lie on the sofa while you sit on the floor with the children and the toys.
You will run her baths, and do any she asks (always with a smile)

All laundry will go in the basket and you can do the ironing.
You will do things together and be happy doing them.

So, there you go!

The consent form will be signed.

[Zippy]

ROFLCOPTER

[Dan_K]

Is no forum sacred?!

[Brothersmith]

I can totally sympathise with your situation. Trips away we're never to much of a problem when it was just me and the other half, but throw a kid into the mix and gets harder to get away for any period of time. For me the limit is about 4days in any one go. Like your wife my better half likes to spend time at home when not at work so the offer of repaying the time doesn't work. I can also understand that it is a bit hard to swallow if I go off for a jolly while she is stuck at home with a 5 year old and the daily chores.

For us it's about negotiation. I tell her what I would like to do, then she tells me what I can do :D I usually discuss the trips I would like to do at start of year. In return I ensure I am at home for key times such as school / bank holidays for family time (meaning I can never do a full WRT :( ). The balance normally is one long trip of a week or three/four 4 day trips a year. I can normally squeeze in a 2 day trip every other month on top of this but this normally has to be outside a wkd.

So if you haven't tried already, try offering it as your only trip away, if she is anything like my misses you will be able to slip a couple of 2 day trips in on an ad-hoc basis. Try to plan your trip so your only away for one wkd and take some A/l either side to spend quality time with family and give your wife a break after looking after kids for 10 days. If she still says no, you might just have to accept its a goal you can''t do in one go until the kids are grown up (or you have nagged her to death for year after year). Think about other ways you can achieve goal, can you do it two trips? If that's not an option how long can you go away for? Are there any other challenge can you do in that time frame?

Until my boy is old enough / keen enough to come with me or look after himself there is no way I will get a pass to do a long distance route like that. For me it's about setting challenges in the time I can get away for, so that's Cairngorm loop and quick 4 day raid on the Alps on my to do list.

[TheBrownDog]

I do what Mrs mPolo says - spend time earning the right to bugger off and leave my wife with the kids/house for an extended period once or twice a year and for a night in the woods every month or so. She's glad to be rid of me for a bit, mostly, but I make sure the fridge/pantry is stocked, the ironing is done and the house looks like a cleaner with OCD has spent the week there. Figure if I want some me time I need to earn it.

[ianfitz]

EDIT: I've moved this post to where I think it's meant to be - Norm

I use memorymap on the iPhone. It works on android platform too.

You can plan or import routes from PC or just email them to yourself. I've got all of Britain at 50k scale on my phone, which is fine scale wise for mtb. The issues are battery life, but I tend not to leave it running all the time. I got round the bb200 on one charge (although carried a spare battery)

I think the newer Garmins with the sat nav function (they beep at you if you miss a turning!) probably have the edge but I'm used to it and the set up didn't cost me much above phone costs etc.

I use a lifeproof case and bike mount. These have taken in some rough riding and a few 'offs' and seem robust to me. On long outing I'd carry a minimal paper map as back up no matter what electronic system I was using...

[Taylor]

:?: :?: :?: :?: :?:

[Firmo]

Wow, thanks for the advice and support on this everyone. Some genuine laugh-out-loud moments in there. Hahaha

I honestly think that because I am such a brilliant father and husband, I am therefore indispensable and the thought of life without me, for my wife, is incomprehensible. The only thing I don't do is the ironing, so maybe if I start ironing, I might get the thumbs up. Either that, or buy her a better iron and a new ironing board cover for Christmas.

Anyway, I do believe Mrs Firmo will warm to the idea eventually, and she has dropped hints recently that she might consider it. Over the last few years we have always travelled as a family: spent 2x months round France in a tent when my daughter was 8-months old, and again last year round Spain/France for 3x months with two kids aged 2 and 3. I think the issue is that she's jealous - but she would not entertain the idea of ever going away on her own adventure without the kids.

...We'll see what happens.
Just nipping out for a paper.

[Pirahna]

Take wifey with you?

My wife is fitter than me, rides with the local road club, loves camping, touring, mountain biking and is stunningly good looking too. What more could a bloke want?