May Monkey Brain

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Verena
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May Monkey Brain

Post by Verena »

No offence intended to monkeys, or their brains.

I'm like this most of the time, but it's particularly bad roundabout this time of every year. Just wondering if anyone else experiences this?

With the weather getting nicer and the days getting longer, when it's the weekend or I'm off work, I want to be out on my bike, obvs.

Even there it starts: mountain, road or gravel bike - I want to ride them all!

But worse, when I'm riding my bike, part of me would also at the same time like to be out running, or swimming, or climbing a mountain, or being by the sea.

I also want to be at home, I want to spend time with my family, I want to practise the sweet art of doing nothing at all, hanging around in my hammock. I want to have a beautiful garden. I want a house that has some basic level of being clean and tidy, and keep on top of life's general to do list.

I mean, there's enjoying life and making the most of it, but sometimes I try to do everything and then eventually "crash" and get really tired. And it's exhausting mentally.
You can see how lockdown was actually quite good for me....

I am exaggerating maybe a tiny bit, but it's not far from the truth, as I said especially during these first days of early summer....

I'd like to think that I am still able to decide what to do each day, and then really enjoy it, and I know the answer has to be something to do with balance, but still....

Anyone out there know how I feel??
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Bearbonesnorm
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Bearbonesnorm »

Anyone out there know how I feel??
Kind of. Maybe.

I can't sit still and 'relax'. Any time trying to do so, is viewed in my head as time wasted. If I can't produce something useful or achieve something productive in the course of a day, then again, I see it as wasted. There's always something to do and (stupidly) in order to achieve the most, I tend to have multiple jobs on the go at any one time which seems to compound those feelings.

The entire thing is made worse once the clocks alter in spring and we enter 'Welsh Time' ... where you lose all sense of time and generally just keep on going until it's time for bed. I put it down to the westerly light. :wink:

So, I think I understand what you mean but I substitute riding / walking / family / hammocks with fencing / flagging / writing / building / making and anything my mind views as productive, which sadly often means that I view everything as a 'job'.
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redefined_cycles
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by redefined_cycles »

I havw this problem (kind of, I think). I always try to do everything at once and have half projects on the go continuously. At uni I was (finally) diagnosed with dyslexia (organisational difficulties) which helped a little (and also thankfully led me to get a 1st :smile: ).

Coming back to bikes though. I think maybe that's one of the reason why I like riding em far. As you can just focus on that one thing... Connected to May and summer :???: possibly.

Hope you manage to make the right choice :grin:
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UnderTheRadars
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by UnderTheRadars »

Yes, I put it down to wanting to make the most of the nicer weather (and seeing spring flowers and wildlife) before it’s gone. Sadly due to crap mental health I’ve just ended up doing hardly anything at all and feeling really frustrated
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Martin B
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Martin B »

Verena, i definitely suffer from this both in summer and winter. So many things I want to do biking, climbing, walking, martial arts, adventures. Add in spending time with my 2 young kids, badly maintaining the house and garden, working shifts and i crash and burn quite regularly. In fact i now understand why, when i was young, my dad would fall asleep on his chair on a Sunday afternoon for an hour or two.

For me it's a mental fight and often, days after doing an activity, i'll be feeling like i had wasted the time as i should've done some other more time worthy/beneficial/enjoyable activity instead..... is it a case of FOMO... may be a similar feeling but i'm not sure exactly what i'm missing out on. May be a Wish I Could Do It All feeling.

I did identify a remedy 5 years ago when i had 5 months off work due to breaking my leg. I had plenty of time on my hands and after 8 weeks I could get back out on my bike doing 30-40mile rides. The next few months life and activities just got better. And to top it off money kept appearing in my bank account each month. I identified this life style as that of the Retired generation and i do find it rather appealing, although i'm not wishing the years away.

I suppose another soloution would be to narrow down your activity list. I know i'd love to be able to ski but i identified that i don't have capacity for another sport/hobby.... just yet :grin:
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RIP
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by RIP »

Ooh, goody! Not had an existentialist thread for a while, nice one V.

Paradoxically, one could argue that many people (in the 'Western World' at least) have never had so many opportunities and chances for things and pastimes with which to amuse themselves and fill their brains up.

And maybe therein lies the problem :wink: .

And yes I'm no different to anyone else in that respect, although I frequently try to battle it :smile: .

Same with "choice". We are ceaselessly rained on with the statement "choice is good". Well, for my first MTB in 1985 I had this choice: red, yellow or blue. I made a decision on the spot for blue and handed the cash over. One of the easiest and best purchases I've ever made, for many reasons. Now? There's so much "choice" of bikes that I'm paralysed and refuse/don't want to buy another one. In fact I realise I don't need one anyway, so The Man has pretty much lost his vicelike grip on me....

And, relatedly, let's not start on the topic that we may even have 'too much' 'freedom' as well. Heresy!

Reg 'Monkey Man' Perrin
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

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PaulB2
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by PaulB2 »

Time is a really precious resource. It's so easy to lose track of and then suddenly run out. If you run out then you can't help but think about time spent on inconsequential things and that can lead to the slippery slopes of self-recrimination over time wasted and potential for resentment over time pressures. I suppose that's modern life. To a certain degree I've had to learn to fit hobbies into weather dependant time slots so I won't waste as much time deciding what I want to do - if I only have half an hour, I'll read for a bit or putz around with lego, if I have an hour, I'll go for a run, if I have two I'll drag the bike out of the garage, etc. The one good thing about the first lockdown is that it forced me to pare down my hobbies and expectations of having the time to enjoy those hobbies as my kids get older. Unfortunately I also had to find a hobby I could do indoors in the company of two rambunctious children which led to the massive money pit that is Lego but that's a different story.
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sean_iow
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by sean_iow »

PaulB2 wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 1:18 pm I could do indoors in the company of two rambunctious children which led to the massive money pit that is Lego but that's a different story.
I've just had a eureka moment where I've realised who you are on Instagram, where I follow you. To be fair to your children it looks like you're the driving force behind the Lego :grin:
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PaulB2
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by PaulB2 »

sean_iow wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 1:37 pm
PaulB2 wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 1:18 pm I could do indoors in the company of two rambunctious children which led to the massive money pit that is Lego but that's a different story.
I've just had a eureka moment where I've realised who you are on Instagram, where I follow you. To be fair to your children it looks like you're the driving force behind the Lego :grin:
Yeah, what started off as small sets I could build with them very quickly evolved to spending way more on bigger sets for me :grin:
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faustus
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by faustus »

I think I know what you mean...I think the extra light makes your body and brain more active, and this drives it? I find it's a more optimistic time of year for me, it's so lovely and fresh outside, the weather is just right (mostly) and it's great to be out doing anything. But I agree that you can get carried away with wanting to do too much, and not being able to gets frustrating or leads to procrastination or mental flagellation.

Too much freedom you say, too much choice? Probably true :???:
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thenorthwind
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by thenorthwind »

I know what you mean, but I haven't noticed it being a particularly seasonal thing, though I'm generally quite aware of the season and its effect on my mood, etc.

I'm similar in that I'd like to do more of the stuff I enjoy but feel like I'm neglecting other stuff, both essential stuff like house maintenance, cleaning, admin, all that boring s**t, but also other hobbies. Even within cycling, I feel like I'm neglecting other disciplines: out on the road bike, I think "I should make more time to go bikepacking", and then out bikepacking I think "I should ride my trail bike unloaded more" :roll:

I often feel envious of people who dedicate themselves to one interest, spend all the spare time they can doing it, get good at it, and really live for it. I know a few people like that. But on the other hand, I know that I wouldn't be satisfied not doing the myriad other things I enjoy. I don't know if they're any happier for this, or whether they're wishing they could experience a wider range of stuff. Maybe I should ask some of them.
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Bearbonesnorm
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Bearbonesnorm »

I often feel envious of people who dedicate themselves to one interest, spend all the spare time they can doing it, get good at it, and really live for it. I know a few people like that. But on the other hand, I know that I wouldn't be satisfied not doing the myriad other things I enjoy. I don't know if they're any happier for this, or whether they're wishing they could experience a wider range of stuff. Maybe I should ask some of them.
Happiness? Good God where will this end ... it's an illusion. Something fluid that we try to grasp yet never really seem to get a firm hold. For many, the pursuit is what drives new purchases and keeps their 'bucket list' topped up. IMO, much better to search out contentment which tends to bring about the opposite effects and is much longer lasting and far less costly :wink:
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sean_iow
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by sean_iow »

I can't help with your dilemma V, but Ralph world like to point out he is focused on BAM and isn't distracted by other interests, and he's got an actual monkey brain and finds it quite offensive to refer to it like that :lol:
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godivatrailrider
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by godivatrailrider »

Bearbonesnorm wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 5:56 pm
I often feel envious of people who dedicate themselves to one interest, spend all the spare time they can doing it, get good at it, and really live for it. I know a few people like that. But on the other hand, I know that I wouldn't be satisfied not doing the myriad other things I enjoy. I don't know if they're any happier for this, or whether they're wishing they could experience a wider range of stuff. Maybe I should ask some of them.
Happiness? Good God where will this end ... it's an illusion. Something fluid that we try to grasp yet never really seem to get a firm hold. For many, the pursuit is what drives new purchases and keeps their 'bucket list' topped up. IMO, much better to search out contentment which tends to bring about the opposite effects and is much longer lasting and far less costly :wink:
Stu, you are 100% on the mark.
Contentment is so important.
I’m sub standard at pretty much everything. I’m ok at my job but I’m crap compared to a 25 year old nerd I work with.
I’m not a great dad, though I get on fantastically well with my 2 adult kids, whom I love dearly.
I suspect I’m not a great partner, probably too self centred, not empathic enough.
I’m not a great rider, I’m ok but not great.
I’m not a great bikepacker, too cautious I suppose.
But I’m content.
I don’t strive for very much, I don’t sit looking at the next upgrade. I usually don’t buy much, but what I buy is reasonably good quality. I don’t want for much.Best of all I don’t owe anyone anything, other than the mortgage. No debt, no credit cards, no overdraft.
But I’m genuinely content.
I accept my failings and limitations.
Contentment outweighs happiness in my opinion.
Last edited by godivatrailrider on Thu May 12, 2022 8:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rob S
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Rob S »

I did feel a bit like that when I turned 38 (51 now) and suddenly realised there was a good chance that I was halfway through my life :shock:
Ever since then there has been a gentle sense of urgency reminding me that time is finite. But you only have one pair of hands and, as Colin Kirkus said, it's not what you do, but who you do it with that's important.
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PaulB2
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by PaulB2 »

Waxing philosophical, contentment is just another word for happiness for the status quo. It’s no less illusory than the endless pursuit of a new joy. It can stem from ignorance or it can stem from apathy just as much as it can stem from genuine acceptance that life is good enough.

Is too much contentment just calcification of the soul?
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Verena
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Verena »

sean_iow wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 7:13 pm I can't help with your dilemma V, but Ralph world like to point out he is focused on BAM and isn't distracted by other interests, and he's got an actual monkey brain and finds it quite offensive to refer to it like that :lol:
So there's the solution:

Be more Ralph :cool:
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Verena
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Verena »

Thanks everyone for your posts, really interesting thread, glad I'm not completely alone... didn't think so :grin:

Only now reading this, after another experiment I'm trying, I switched my phone off for 24 hours yesterday 😱

I should also add that I'm actually really quite happy.

I just get a bit overexcited in the spring as has been said.

When it gets really hot by the way I go the opposite and find it really easy to just hang in the garden (literally, in the hammock)
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Bearbonesnorm »

s too much contentment just calcification of the soul?
No, I don't think so. You can be genuinely content yet still lead an active, productive and generous life. It doesn't mean that you've become stagnant.
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godivatrailrider
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by godivatrailrider »

PaulB2 wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 9:34 pm Waxing philosophical, contentment is just another word for happiness for the status quo. It’s no less illusory than the endless pursuit of a new joy. It can stem from ignorance or it can stem from apathy just as much as it can stem from genuine acceptance that life is good enough.

Is too much contentment just calcification of the soul?
I’m not sure I agree with this fairly sad outlook.
Contentment shouldn’t necessarily be quantified. It doesn’t need it. Like ‘unique’ maybe. Something is either unique or it isn’t. It can’t be very unique or nearly unique.
Maybe you’re either content or you’re not.
I live a fairly simple but comfortable life in a beautiful house in a fabulous town in a gorgeous county. I love my partner and my adult kids. I work from home. I earn ‘enough’ to cover all bills and keep us fed. I have a 230’ rear garden from which I can see Ludlow Castle and Mortimer Forest. I’m content.
I’ve driven the same vehicle for about 9 years and see no need to change it.
I have the freedom to bikepack as often as my soul requires it.
I laugh every day with my partner.
I try to look after myself without being obsessive.
I have good reason to be content. I certainly don’t think my soul has calcified 😳 I keep busy and active and love being alive. I’m 55. Time is the most precious thing available to me, I appreciate that. ❤️
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PaulB2
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by PaulB2 »

Apologies, my comments weren't aimed at anyone - I was just pondering in a post child bedtime lull on a tangent about the negatives of contentment taken to the extremes and how most advances in our life were because people weren't content for things to stay as they are. Of course, most wars are also for the same reason so lack of contentment is not all good. I do believe it's possible to be truly content with life on a personal level.
AndreR
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by AndreR »

godivatrailrider wrote: Thu May 12, 2022 9:08 am
PaulB2 wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 9:34 pm Waxing philosophical, contentment is just another word for happiness for the status quo. It’s no less illusory than the endless pursuit of a new joy. It can stem from ignorance or it can stem from apathy just as much as it can stem from genuine acceptance that life is good enough.

Is too much contentment just calcification of the soul?
I’m not sure I agree with this fairly sad outlook.
Contentment shouldn’t necessarily be quantified. It doesn’t need it. Like ‘unique’ maybe. Something is either unique or it isn’t. It can’t be very unique or nearly unique.
Maybe you’re either content or you’re not.
I live a fairly simple but comfortable life in a beautiful house in a fabulous town in a gorgeous county. I love my partner and my adult kids. I work from home. I earn ‘enough’ to cover all bills and keep us fed. I have a 230’ rear garden from which I can see Ludlow Castle and Mortimer Forest. I’m content.
I’ve driven the same vehicle for about 9 years and see no need to change it.
I have the freedom to bikepack as often as my soul requires it.
I laugh every day with my partner.
I try to look after myself without being obsessive.
I have good reason to be content. I certainly don’t think my soul has calcified 😳 I keep busy and active and love being alive. I’m 55. Time is the most precious thing available to me, I appreciate that. ❤️
This resonates with me, the times in my life where I have been happiest have been where I have been content with my life and the balance between working and playing was good for me. The times I have found stressful were where this balance was upset by work or play taking too much time. Spend time earning more and you have less time to enjoy, spend too much time enjoying and you run out of money. Finding that happy balance is not that easy though!
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benp1
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by benp1 »

Happiness equals reality less expectations. If reality beats expectations you're happy, if it doesn't, you're not

Also one of the many activity rich but time poor adults here! Job, house, three kids and a dog. Plus lots of hobbies that involve leaving the house. I love tinkering in the garage but technically that's not in the house either :grin:

Have just got my motorbike back on the road so that's another hobby that'll eat into the limited time :roll:
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Verena
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by Verena »

Just thought I'd post a little May Monkey Brain update....feeling a lot better now. Partly I've remembered that from now on in, it'll either be raining, or too hot, both of which will see me happily calm down and take it easy. Plus I've done the obvious and eased up on the scrolling through strava and instagram which doesn't half distort one's sense of reality....
The other thing I've realised is being a bit more selective about who to spend time with/ talking to. Less of the ones where the conversations go "so what events have you entered then? Really? Well you ought to be doing X Y and Z then!" and more just, well, nice, human people with real lives - such as this community here, and I have rediscovered a few local ones too...

Best of all though, last weekend I had a bit of a Eureka moment. In my mind I had planned/ hoped to go out for a longish bike ride on the Saturday (so the classic May monkey Brain scenario), then the closer the time came the more the reality hit home that I had promised a home/ family weekend, so me rocking up at 2 pm and knackered was not going to be the best idea.... Plus I couldn't find my pump and repair kit, so also not a good idea to venture too far (a sign perhaps?!?). So instead I thought, don't be daft, just make it short and sharp instead, so I grabbed my trainers and went for a trail run instead. The eureka moment being when I realized that all that indecisiveness, coupled with having lots of different hobbies/ interests, has a real positive flip side, when applied with a little mental flexibility. So yes, I didn't go out on my bike, but I had an absolutely wonderful morning, doing something which I have also wanted to be getting into. It was just stunning! Went up Pen Milan, one of the lesser known flanks of the Brecon Beacons, managed to miss all the paths :lol: , didn't see a soul, across to the Tommy Jones memorial which is always a good place to pause and reflect for a coupe of minutes. Then down to Llyn Cwm Llwch, which never fails to take my breath away, so beautiful.
There was still no-one around, apart from the usual bunch of Pen Y fan walkers high above me on the ridge, so I even went for a spontaneous swim just in my undies, absolutely gorgeous. It was warm enough to dry off lying on the grass for a while, and once more I was pleased to find that the leeches (!!!) had left me alone....
Home by 11 feeling fantastic!

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boxelder
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Re: May Monkey Brain

Post by boxelder »

My take on this is that having so many options in life creates pressure to make the right choice, and the fear of missing out.
Make a choice and then enjoy doing whatever it is. 'Live in the moment' I guess. Time doesn't allow you to go back and change your mind and regrets are no good. If you made the wrong choice, that's a positive, as it will guide your choice next time.
"Happiness? Good God where will this end ... it's an illusion"
I'm sure we've all experienced happiness, so can't agree. Permanent happiness is an illusion, along with '#happiness, the social media driven brand.
Want what you've got, enjoy what you're doing, but not necessarily in just a contentment way. It's good to have dreams too.
Here endeth the Sunday schplurmon. Now, do I sort the garden, learn German to help daughter#2, paint that chest of drawers or ride a bike. Which bike........
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