No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

[The Cumbrian]

What started as a gap in the showers actually turned into a rather lovely evening down here in Cheshire. I was on the bike at half five and decided to have a spin around the loop that goes through Aston, Dutton Locks, Kingsley and down the back of Frodsham hill. It incorporates a fair bit of off road, nice country lanes and a good descent through the woods on Frodsham hill.
I'd just got onto the bridleway (which is also a farm track) after Aston and saw a tractor heading towards me. I decided to wait where I was where there was a driveway, rather than keep going and make the driver slow down as we passed. He gave me a wave as he passed, but the front of his trailer was leaking a smelly brown liquid, which created a puddle just in time for the tractor wheels to splash through it and spray my legs with shitty water.
Cursing heartily, I set off down the lane only to encounter another tractor on a bend. I stepped onto the verge this time to let it past, and the hidden nettles gave my ankles and shins a damned good stinging. More swearing followed.

[In Reverse]

Did the same stepping to the side thing but put my foot on a bit a verge that was just a tuft of grass and went arse over tit about 8 feet down into a ditch.

Couldn't climb back out because it was so slippy.

Bloke on the tractor had stopped to help and he tried pulling me out but I managed to pull him in too.

We had to fight our way through a load of brambles along the bottom of the ditch for about 30 yards before we could get out.

Some of those trails around Frodsham and Helsby are tremendous btw.

[The Cumbrian]

That reminds me of when my one armed mate got stuck in a ditch. He was in northern Scotland and he and his friends persuaded a taxi driver to take five of them home from the pub. Their argument was that there's never any police about to spot an overloaded taxi. Ten minutes later they pass a police car which the taxi driver sees doing a three point turn in the rear view mirror. When they got around a corner, he stopped and my mate jumped into a ditch and hid as the taxi sped off. A little while later the police car drove past after the taxi. My mate was stuck in ankle deep sludge for 45 minutes and couldn't climb out with only one arm. The police car had stopped the taxi and gave everyone a grilling, and the driver then had to take a circuitous route back.

[Leerowe76]

Soz for jumping in on your post, but heres a xc route for you to try which I havent got around to riding yet, looks a good'n tbh I just dont get over that way much well certainly not right now with Covid but soon as the lockdown is lifted I'll be riding it.

https://www.strava.com/routes/24004911

[The Cumbrian]

Thanks for that, I've been looking at routes a bit further south that I can do as weekenders once the lockdown is over.

[benp1]

Did the same stepping to the side thing but put my foot on a bit a verge that was just a tuft of grass and went arse over tit about 8 feet down into a ditch.

Couldn't climb back out because it was so slippy.

Bloke on the tractor had stopped to help and he tried pulling me out but I managed to pull him in too.

We had to fight our way through a load of brambles along the bottom of the ditch for about 30 yards before we could get out.

Some of those trails around Frodsham and Helsby are tremendous btw.

Andy, this is hilarious. Might not have been at the time...