If you go down to the woods today....

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RIP
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If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

... you're sure of a hell of a surprise.... yes, it's the Chilterns Spring Bling Fling Ring Ding-a-Ling Thing.

The bears coming out of hibernation and blearily rubbing their eyes in the sunshine (not) this weekend were BDS, Ben(*), Charlie(*), JamesO, MuddyPete, Rich, Rich, Reg, Rob(*), and last but definitely not least Tim. Sadly Tim had to bail at the last minute due a dodgy knee (Korean War, bit of shrapnel, he doesn't like to talk about it) which was a real shame after all the hard work he put into it. Still, on the bright side, for the rest of us the beer was all set up by the time we got to the spot :-bd . (*) honorary Boners for the weekend.

A meet-up at Tring station was followed by a Rich-inspired route along the Chilterns escarpment over to Missenden and our Top Secret Rendezvous somewhere near Princes Risborough.

Didn't take MuddyPete long to find a cosy bivvy spot at Tring Station. We haven't gone anywhere yet! Still, at least he has a newspaper to read with his breakfast next morning...

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Lots of mud-infested Chilterns bridleways and tracks followed.....

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With the obligatory cake stop....

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Charlie hugs a puddingstone... and why not?.... we're allowed to do hugs now...

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I insisted we stopped at a Spar... well It's The Law isn't it?....

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More cuddly Chilterns views..... with some distinctly uncuddly Boners....

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Home from home thanks to Tim.... well, that's if your home is a damp wood miles from anywhere....

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First things first... or is that thirst things thirst?..... we were trying to think of a name for our pub but failed dismally.... ideas on a damp postcard please....

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Obviously us wussy southerners are fabled for our avocado on toast breakfasts.... but for tea we have.....

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.... amongst lashings of ginger beer, cucumber sandwiches, and strawberries and cream. Well we did have the strawberries at least. Things soon started to get very hazy so I'll have to hand over here to someone who managed to take any non-wobbly photos. Seemed to be a fairly early night for everyone after the jollities and frivolities. Personally I had a great night's kip for once, probably because I was toasty warm in my winter sleeping bag in June (almost) and because as ever the first thing I packed was earplugs. Woken at 05.30 hours by what Mr Pie claimed was a "deer". Said deer was an uncannily good impressionist is all I can say. Her main impression apparently being the common snore of Homo Sapiens.

Reg's messily deployed Gatewood cape..... great piece of kit....

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The lesser-spotted James Olsen rises from his carefully laid nest....

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Time for porridge and ovaltine methinks, from the Reg Russian Doll kitchen..... windshield, pot, 22g stove, meths, matches, stove pad, porridge, ovaltine, spoon, all crammed into a 550ml Ti cookpot.....

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After breakfast, a quick wash and brush up.... well, wash bodily parts in a puddle, and brush teeth with a JoeBrush (TM). Without handle obviously.

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Bit of help for Tim getting all the stuff dismantled, and away we went back to Tring via the obligatory second breakfast at Wendover cafe. There's something badly wrong... no avocado in sight!

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Most Wanted Thing this time? A pedal-powered hairdryer for drying my shelter before stuffing it back onto the bike. I really hate all that shaking and flapping trying to get it vaguely dry. Not so bad for a single-nighter but nothing worse than a wet shelter on a second night I reckon.


Tim, you're a star mate.. the Boners Are Back!
Last edited by RIP on Sun May 23, 2021 6:48 pm, edited 5 times in total.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

Gear:

Orange P7 (11.7kg)

cabletie bar harness (10g), Alpkit LS07 bar bag (60g) with Exped Hyperlite mat (360g), pillow-pump (120g), tyvek (50g), changing/fiddling mat (10g), Gatewood cape (290g), Stu "HyperLite" carbon pole (48g), 7 x Ti V pegs (63g). On bars: approx 1kg.

Alpkit LS07 stemcell (40g) with pump (?g), cable lock (70g), ground testing peg (6g), cableties (5g).

Gaffer tape stemcell (13g) with 500ml plastic bottle (15g) and 500ml water (500g).

Alpkit LS07 gastank (30g) with dosh, paperwork, tickets, chewy bars, mask, phone, last will and testament etc.

Wildcat frame bag (205g) with workshop (330g), kitchen (190g), 1st aid (85g), bathroom (48g), S2S backpack (65g). In framebag: approx 950g.

Wildcat seat harness + drybag (215g), PHD Hispar 400 (795g), Ghost Whisperer down jacket (209g), down balaclava (60g). In seatpack: approx 1.3kg.

Reg: 63kg :grin:

Grand total: approx 78.8kg. (edit: oh, plus a bit more for OS map x 1 without cover, and a PickersPatentStemMapHolderThing (TM))
Last edited by RIP on Sun May 23, 2021 6:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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psling
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by psling »

Looks like a cracking weekend :-bd
... we were trying to think of a name for our pub but failed dismally.... ideas on a damp postcard please....
The 'Tarp and Trump' might be appropriate...? :grin:
We go out into the hills to lose ourselves, not to get lost. You are only lost if you need to be somewhere else and if you really need to be somewhere else then you're probably in the wrong place to begin with.
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TheBrownDog
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by TheBrownDog »

Cheers Reg.

After a year or not seeing Boner mates, other than the Dartmoor trip, getting out with the original Chilterns Spring Thing crew was pretty important. We've shared a load of fun over the years, so the 2021 Chilterns Spring Thing just had to be special.

Normally, we'd hit up a pub, but all the locals round the site were booked out and I'm still slightly iffy about rubbing shoulders with folk. So in consultation with Reg and Rich, we agreed we'd "rough" it.

I'd hoped to aim for the original location in Sam's field near Little Kimble, but he had a prior booking so no dice. However, he got in touch with a friend who has 5 acres of private woodland near Princes Ris. She ain't posh or wealthy. She just bought it before it became trendy. It's probably worth 5x what she paid for it 10 years ago. Anyhoo, on Sam's word that we wouldn't torch the place, she gave us access. Bloody legend.

I bought some beer and a bit of food, shoved it and some camping gear into my car, and had intended to drop it to the site early in the morning, do the easy road ride to Tring to meet les chappes etc etc etc

But the shrapnel in my left knee had other ideas. It's been giving me gyp for a week after I gave it some welly last weekend. So while I was ok walking down the stairs on Saturday morning, walking back up them left me a crumpled weeping mess. Bugger.

Cue a change of plan. No chance this was not happening. I dragooned my son into helping lump the kit up to the site from the road. It's about 250m up a slight hill and, fair play to him, he carted about 100kg of gear into the site from the car and his only payment, before tearing off on his motorbike, was a half of Tring Breweries ale.

I have a bizzillion pics of it all but here's the bestest. Bunch of mates doing the thing they love.

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And then there is this ... Reg is a long-term vegetabalarian so asked for some proper cheese to chew on while the carnivores ate animals. The local Waitrose cheese expert recommended a rather tasty Godminster organic cheddar. I bought the big one. It didn't disappoint.

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Cheers guys. Great to see you all.
Last edited by TheBrownDog on Mon May 24, 2021 5:57 am, edited 2 times in total.
I'm just going outside ...
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

Reg was a most attentive student but mathematics was not his strongest subject :wink: :lol:
:smile: I blame Mrs Perrin's scales(*)!

(*) did I tell you she's a dragon? :lol:
Last edited by RIP on Sun May 23, 2021 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

TheBrownDog wrote: Sun May 23, 2021 5:05 pm
I bought some beer and a bit of food
Tim mate, you do yourself down there. "Bit of food" indeed. Bloody banquet. And that beer... superb.... Yet another fantastic weekend with some corking memories to dredge back up when we're all gibbering wrecks festering in that bikepackers' rest-home with our zimmer frames the nearest thing we have to two wheels.
I dragooned my son into helping lump the kit up to the site from the road. It's about 250m up a slight hill and, fair play to him, he carted about 100kg of gear into the site from the car and his only payment, before tearing off on his motorbike, was a half of Tring Breweries ale.
Well big compliments to him too :-bd . And that's a fab "team photo" matey :grin: .
Last edited by RIP on Sun May 23, 2021 8:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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benp1
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by benp1 »

Looks like great fun chaps. Very sorry I missed it!

The woodland pub and restaurant looks ace
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

Aye, missed your presence Ben
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by jameso »

Brilliant.. I now feel like paper-bin Pete in that 1st pic, done for. Great weekend. Cheers all!
Tim, Reg is right, I think 'a bit of food and drink' underestimated the eating and drinking challenge this weekend provided.. best bike-related thing I've done in ages. Hugely appreciated your Deliveroo Plus planning :-bd Hope you're fit and well for the next one, we owe you - I nominate Reg carries his own cheese and the rest of us can take turns towing the beer trailer.
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by MuddyPete »

.
Saturday
https://www.instagram.com/p/CPRP7YNBXk6 ... =copy_link

Sunday
https://www.instagram.com/p/CPRSkvDhT_P ... =copy_link

A year of restrictions has prompted some novel, imaginative silliness to keep ourselves entertained. My world (and humankind, I believe) is a far richer place for being introduced to Emergency Rules BaMs; Reg's Garden Sitting Room; the State of the Nation Tour and (of course) Ralph and his hand-made bikepacking accessories. :d

So; it was against the backdrop of the constant threat of lockdown that a tentative, very low-key, but eagerly-anticipated, build-up saw 9 very happy and excited campers descend on Tring station at midday-ish for our return to abnormality :wink: .

So excited, in fact, that we almost forgot we were there for something other than chatting and took "more than a while" to get going. There was a distinct and refreshing lack of leadership: a welcome tonic to the ruthless discipline some of us have become used to, during a year working on Zoom or MS Teams. "Stopping for a chat" was to evolve as the theme for the weekend. And why not? :grin:

Tring station has almost become the default meeting point for Chilterns japes and was a chance to explore new concepts (emergency shelter options of Metro newspaper stands); meet friends old and new (including a very well-travelled compatriot for Ralph, strapped to Rich3rd's bar next to a matching bar bag).

Eventually we got a bimble on. Much meandering led us all over the place and quite frankly I hadn't a clue where I was ("In the woods, Pete :roll: ). Notable highlights were through the Valley of the Tortoises; masses of bluebells (somewhere); Lee village green, with the glacier-transported conglomerate Pudding Stone (which looked to me like a pile of fly-tipped concrete, although I wished it was flapjack)outside the Cock & Rabbit; a brief stop (and chat) at Perrin Manor for Reg to proudly pose next to his new drawbridge and portcullis; vast swathes of lush, green novel countryside; stopping for another chat; coffee, cake and chit-chat at the Strawberry Café yurt; Spar shop stop with bike-related heritage and finding the campsite set-up beautifully with all the essentials laid before us (food, beer, fire :grin: ).

Tim's preparation and attention to detail were evidence of a true master at work: a Cheese of Legends for our very own master of bringing home comforts to the great outdoors :wink: ; food and beer to intrigue, tantalise and excite from the Chilli Boners' purveyors of choice (Tring brewery and Waitrose); and not only a hammock for Tim himself, but one for his baguettes, too :lol: .

Conversation flowed as easily as the beer and the camaraderie was as warm as the fire (FFS! Who writes this drivel? :roll:) until we wandered off at varying times, to the sound of an hour-long fireworks display. Clearly, someone else was happy to be out. :smile: .
Somehow I found myself sleeping in the beer tent, so I was happy too :d <burp>.

After a warm, but fitful, night I arose at 04.35 to the dawn chorus and was very happy to discover the embers were hot enough to burst into life and get the tea on. Gradual stirrings and munchings over the next couple of hours culminated in an IMMACULATE leave-no-trace campsite :-bd; then a meandering bimble to Wendover cafe for brekkie No2, stopping only to chat amongst ourselves, to curious roadies and to watch Reg drop his bike into a ditch :oops: . I've never seen cameras emerge so quickly :lol:.

After leisurely brekkie No2 we bade our farewells and dispersed to the four corners of the Chilterns with agreements to meet again soon.

Thanks everyone for making it a very special 24 hours, but thanks especially to Tim for his organisation, generosity and selfless commitment to keep a good thing going. Cheers. :-bd .
May you always have tail wind.
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by sean_iow »

Looks like an amazing trip :-bd Were you expecting trouble and had a Mounty with you just in case :grin:

Tring Station is 'only' 110* miles riding from my house.... put my name down for this years winter bivi :-bd

*So closer than the start of the west country winter bivi I rode to in 2019.
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by MuddyPete »

ralph_iow wrote: Tue May 25, 2021 10:27 am ... put my name down for this years winter bivi :-bd
You'll receive a warm welcome and feel free to bring Sean with you as well, Ralph :wink: 🙈.
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by TheBrownDog »

First things first... or is that thirst things thirst?..... we were trying to think of a name for our pub but failed dismally.... ideas on a damp postcard please....

Image

I've cogitated over this since Reg fell to his knees in awe at the sheer volume of beer and asked what we were calling our pub.

I've got it and it's dead simple.

The Stump
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

Good one! The question certainly had me stumped.

The 'Cock and Rabbit' at The Lee had a memorable name I must say.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by MuddyPete »

TheBrownDog wrote: Thu May 27, 2021 6:39 pm The Stump
and Sausage

Could be the name for any impromptu bivi-pub provided for emergency refreshments. :d

Hmmm...."Bivi Pub"...the TLS version of a beer tent. It even uses fewer letters :geek: .
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by Boab »

Shirley it should be called The Ditch...?
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by MuddyPete »

It shouldn't be called The Ditch.


And stop calling me Shirley :wink: .
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

Oh I dunno, I've nodded off in both pubs and ditches so there are some similarities!
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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psling
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by psling »

I'm going to mention my suggestion again, just in-case it was missed, you know.... I thought it was (quite) good anyway, not that I'm taking it personally, oh no.... :grin:

The Tarp and Trump

:grin: :wink:
We go out into the hills to lose ourselves, not to get lost. You are only lost if you need to be somewhere else and if you really need to be somewhere else then you're probably in the wrong place to begin with.
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by MuddyPete »

psling wrote: Fri May 28, 2021 11:57 am Trump
What's he ever done for bikepacking? :|
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

I reckoned Peter meant farting - which pretty accurately reflects much of bikepacking - but he thought Tarp and Trump would look better on the sign than Tarp And Fart...
Last edited by RIP on Fri May 28, 2021 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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Re: If you go down to the woods today....

Post by RIP »

I'm going with The Pie And Peace. Maybe too cryptic.
"My God, Ponsonby, I'm two-thirds of the way to the grave and what have I done?" - RIP

The sign outside the asylum is the wrong way round.....

"At least you got some stories" - James Acaster
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