Dave Barter wrote:Does a tick on my bollocks count?

Only for the tick

I was on the cairngorms loop heading into Abernethy Forest late at night and decided to stop at a bridge over a small stream to grab some water. It was pitch black so head torch on and scrambled down the bank only to be attacked by a very angry dipper that must have been roosting under the bridge. Hit me in the head twice before settling on a branch about 6' away and gave me the death stare as if to say f off!
Also whilst night riding I heard a male tawny owl calling it's mate. I stopped in total blackness and listened for a while before doing my bestest Tawny owl impression and managed to call the female in to a branch right above me. The male was proper pissed and came over too and called her over. They had a right scrap before settling down next to each other.

I've had a few fun meetings with the animals.

Once got chased up a tree in the middle of the night by a big angry family of wild boar. Sat in me shreddies with only my Petzyl and Swiss army knife for company waiting for them to finish chewing my handle bar grips and bugger off.

Rounded a corner once to almost collide with a huge buzzard flying the other way with a viper in its talons. It swerved and dropped the viper almost on top of me which then hissed and disappeared into the undergrowth.

Had a stag once commence its nightly barking session a few feet (ok, maybe 20ft) from me asleep in my hammock. Once I'd recovered from sh1tting myself it was an amazing thing to see/hear so close.

But Africa was the real winner in terms of wildlife encounters.....

In the lodge we were running in Malawi we had various very close-up encounters (3m pythons, cobras, black and green mambas and loads more) and Nikki once got stung by a scorpion, slept for two days then was fine (next boat to civilisation came the day after she was ok with no roads or phones to be had).

I once left a bar to go to my room in a wildlife park in Zambia only to find myself between an elephant and her calf. Neither the people in the bar nor the elephants had spotted me so I was trying to silently yell for assistance and advice as to what to do next. No help materialised so I ever so slowly extracted myself from the situation and was almost safe when the mother caught sight of me and so I legged it and all was fine.

But the best, also in Zambia, was when we'd arrived at a lodge in the middle of the park late in the evening and been shown to our grass hut. They said not to leave the huts as there were lions, leopards, hippos, crocs, elephants and more that wanted to eat us. In the middle of the night Nikki woke me up to say she was being bitten. I said she should swot whatever it was and go back to sleep. She turned the torch on and realised that our hut was in the path of millions of migrating angry bitey massive ants. Literally everything in the hut was covered. 3 minutes, 2 cans of Doom and a few hundred bites later I grabbed my trusty Petzyl and Swiss army knife as we exited the hut. No idea which way to go to find help we just sort of wandered silently hoping the first thing we found didn't eat us. We eventually found the guides hut, woke him and he seemed annoyed that the silly tourists had left their hut for a few ants. He took us back, saw the state of things, apologised for not taking us seriously and promptly gave us his hut while he slept on the (outdoor) kitchen table for the remainder of the night.

Gotta love places where humans are on the menu

I’ve also been sideswiped by a badger and a mate was fully OTB’d by one. They always seem to react like superheros shrugging off another clash with a puny human.

Most animals you’d be concerned you’d hurt them. With a badger you’re worried they may get tasty.

A bumble bee popped inside my glasses yesterday while I was speeding downhill. Buzzed around for a few seconds before finding a way out.

I rolled up behind a very wet Wolverine on the Rail Trail, Idaho and didn't realise what it was at the time, which is probably just as well as I probably wouldn't have got so close

I was Attacked by an IRA cow. I am working a search dog along a hedge in South Armagh, the other side of the hedge was boggy land (Ireland). There's a cow close to the hedge and it is stock still. The dog won't go past it as he had been thrown by terrorist cow a few months earlier. I went over to shoo it but with the benefit of hind site, it was lining me up. When I was close enough it kicked out, just missing my right hip. I actually felt it brush my hip. My back up behind me said something flew off me. I said no it didn't but it was close. They insisted, so I brushed myself down and realised my pistol and holster were missing. The holster was hooked into the webbing belt with 4 long prongs. It was also attached to my belt with a lanyard and to the pistol via ring on the butt of the pistol. The ring was impossible to open by hand, I didn't even know it opened anyway. The lanyard was undamaged. I think it might of hurt if her hoof had connected.

Chicken Legs wrote:I rolled up behind a very wet Wolverine on the Rail Trail, Idaho and didn't realise what it was at the time, which is probably just as well as I probably wouldn't have got so close

That reminded me....New Mexico was full of rapid dogs, Pueblo Pintada was passed by VERY quickly. I didn't see any Wolverines on the Rail Trail but the guys from Missouri I was with were genuinely petrified of the Skunk that ambled across the trail......

I've just removed a baby Great Spotted woodpecker from the kitchen ... what a vicious sod it was. Took a chunk out of my finger.

"Great Spotted woodpecker" - show off . Actually that must have been quite a sight. Maybe (s)he was after one of your luxury bits of wood to try out....

I tell ya, absolute savage .... I nearly started crying

A peacock. I wondered what the hell it was at first as it flew over my head. It was only when it landed a bit further up the road I recognised it. I think it was breeding season and was attacking anything that moved

I could go on (and on and on) about my close encounters with snakes in Australia, Blue Mountains, when I had 5 days alone with a map, no compass, a very small plastic tent... and limited water

Nearly stood on a red-bellied black snake 2 days from civilisation... scared the sh1t out of me, turned round to escape and a foot long lizard came out of the rock I put my foot on...

The following day another encounter with a rb black snake on a little path 15 feet above a river, it jumped from 10 feet above to land just in front of me, holy sh1t, then (as my heart was about to escape into my throat), it accelerated away from me fast, instant relief BUT as I put my next foot forward to continue, about one foot in front of me, there was a brown snake with its head sticking out of a hole, licking its tongue, at ankle level, perfect for a strike....

I waded across the river (Cox’s River) after that, feeling very vulnerable.

Further up the river I came across a goanna, giant lizard, about 3 feet long plus a long tail...

Not on the scale of encounters in Zambia and Oz, but I did see an escaped wallaby in woods just outside Caversham! I even got an article in the local paper as I managed to get a mobile phone pic: https://www.getreading.co.uk/news/readi ... --10164466

Had plenty of run ins with run-of-the-mill UK wildlife; squirrels and rabbits running through the bike, dragonfly lodging itself between brake lever and handlebar (escaped unharmed), and a bat flew into my face whilst riding along the K&A canal one evening - scared the be-jesus out of me and i nearly rode into the canal!

faustus wrote: ↑Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:24 am Not on the scale of encounters in Zambia and Oz, but I did see an escaped wallaby in woods just outside Caversham! I even got an article in the local paper as I managed to get a mobile phone pic: https://www.getreading.co.uk/news/readi ... --10164466

Had plenty of run ins with run-of-the-mill UK wildlife; squirrels and rabbits running through the bike, dragonfly lodging itself between brake lever and handlebar (escaped unharmed), and a bat flew into my face whilst riding along the K&A canal one evening - scared the be-jesus out of me and i nearly rode into the canal!

Seen them a few times thereabouts. There is a population at the McAlpine estate in Fawley and a few have escaped.

We had a wallaby on the run in Norfolk just yesterday. from the farm next to my wife's family.. called Gorgeous! (funny as apparently it was a vicious git..)

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/environmen ... -1-6115668