I find that when your reaching these big birthdays you end up having to go through a period of acceptance.
I find myself approaching 50 and already not being able to do as much as I did as a very fit 40 year old. I have a back problem and that is what is restricting me.
So i tend to look more into the future than the past (with a little bit of fear) and wonder how long will I be able to work or ride my bike ect.
My eyes really opened wide during my forties and any regrets of my previous years that kept me dwelling in the past, I tried to put right and make amends. Also I lost my Dad through a very cruel illness and no one saw it coming, and that had a massive impact on how I live my days now. I don't want to sound corny and just repeat a common saying but, I really do try and keep my mind in the present day and get on with what's Infront of me. Ive been in some very dark places in my mind through my 49 years and keeping that place healthy is the most important thing for me today. I can soon go down if I let it.
I try my best to accept my body is slowing down ect and try not to keep looking ahead to much because that bring on the fear too. I just have to adjust and find new ways of doing things and work within any limits I have now.

I think I've forgotten more than I can remember! There are things, activities, climbs, etc. that I occasionally reminisce over, usually immediately followed by the thought "crikey, that was XX years ago!". Sure there's things I should have done and didn't or vice versa but it seems to have worked out OK.

The only real regret I have is that I never got to fly on Concorde. There were climbs that I would have liked to have done but equally there were lots that I thought I'd never do but did so a bit swings and roundabouts.

I’m just very conscious that I have a small number of years of health and fitness available to do all the stuff I still want to do.

Indeed, I had a horrible flashback to my wedding day, it’s enough to give a man blood pressure.

The only real regret I have is that I never got to fly on Concorde

My Mum and Dad were booked on the flight a few days after it went down. As a pilot this was Dad's greatest regret.

middleagedmadness wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 5:10 pm I look back on a lot with fondness, but also look forward to what I can do in the future what I couldn’t have done in the past due to having to provide for the family, the times I look back on the most were living and working in Spain for 10 years , the other thing to look at Stu is all that stupidity we got up to when we were younger has made us into the grumpy old men we are today

I thought we were still getting up to all that stupidity - it's the whole point being Here surely (and grumpy obviously)

ScotRoutes wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:25 pm I retired from my job of 33 years when I turned 50 so was definitely looking more forward than backward.

I'll add - I often think "what if" I'd got massively into cycling at a younger age and then of all the trips I might have made. I then have to prod myself and think of the other things I might not then have done (played in a band, travelled Europe by motorbike, climbed all the Munros etc). Some of these happened so long ago that's it's easy to overlook therrm.

Could almost be twins . Made a similar enormous change at same age, gave up proper work and ran my own cycle training business for ten years. The longest job I've ever had! Then at 55 found this lovely Place and got back into stupid biking japes - it's been utterly superb, thanks to you Stu as you well know! So I looked back a little at 50 but then two very different things randomly appeared and off I went again. Had plenty of iffy times as well since then too of course, same as everyone.

Onwards and sideways! That's the spirit

Dave Barter wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:46 pm I feel a massive clock ticking away.

read that too fast

rufus748 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:30 pm

Dave Barter wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:46 pm I feel a massive cock tickling away.

read that too fast

I see where you went wrong

ScotRoutes wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:25 pm I retired from my job of 33 years when I turned 50....

How?

Sickly quote time

No regrets and no looking back other than fond memories of the good stuff.
Although I do miss waking up in the morning feeling brand new !!

A rather scary fact I discovered recently is that the average healthy life expectancy is 63.4 years for men and 64.1 for women.

Chicken Legs wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:06 pm No regrets and no looking back other than fond memories of the good stuff.
Although I do miss waking up in the morning feeling brand new !!

A rather scary fact I discovered recently is that the average healthy life expectancy is 63.4 years for men and 64.1 for women.

Not for cyclists though - apparently we get an extra ten years, yay

BigdummySteve wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:38 pm

rufus748 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:30 pm

Dave Barter wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 2:46 pm I feel a massive cock tickling away.

read that too fast

I see where you went wrong

Ah well Stevo, this is where us oldies actually have one of our rare advantages; recent headline: "Human penises are now shrinking in the next generations, warns scientist".

I'm not quite at the half century, but as I make my final approach I've realised that any reduction in pure physical capability is more than compensated for by:

(1) a moderate increase in knowing how to do stuff - with the general caveat that the more you know the more you realise you don't know, and

(2) a significant increase in knowing what makes me tick and how to find happiness.

There may be less time left, but I'm a damn sight better at knowing what to do with my time than I once was.

I'm sort of relishing the gentle glide path over the next couple of decades (good health permitting), while trying not to dwell on the fact that I'm probably well over the halfway point in terms of number of miles I'll ever ride / number of times I'll have sex / [insert your own metric of choice here]. Our past experiences are a big part of what makes us who we are, and the older we get the more past there is. But the next thing will always be the next thing until one day the next thing will be the last thing. As John Ruskin put it, "There is no Wealth but Life".

JackT wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:51 pm But the next thing will always be the next thing until one day the next thing will be the last thing.

Blimey that's cast a bit of a pall of gloom over the party

RIP wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:01 pm

JackT wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:51 pm But the next thing will always be the next thing until one day the next thing will be the last thing.

Blimey that's cast a bit of a pall of gloom over the party

I say ban these kids from our old man thread

JackT wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:51 pm ....I'm probably well over the halfway point in terms of number of miles I'll ever ride / number of times I'll have sex / [insert your own metric of choice here]...

Defeatist!

I've never heard it called a "metric" before, though .

MuddyPete pos :mrgreen: wrote:Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:27 pm

JackT wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 8:51 pm ....I'm probably well over the halfway point in terms of number of miles I'll ever ride / number of times I'll have sex / [insert your own metric of choice here]...

Defeatist!

I've never heard it called a "metric" before, though .

oh dear, Friday's come early this week.

MuddyPete wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:51 pm

ScotRoutes wrote: ↑Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:25 pm I retired from my job of 33 years when I turned 50....

How?

I started when I was 17.

No

Remember the rear view mirror is always smaller than the windscreen.

I did some work with an older gentleman once, and he was riven with thoughts of 'what if'?

So, I did some digging and some background research. There is a great piece of research (I will find the link) and it asked questions about regret.

The topline up shot is that we regret those things we don't do much more than we regret the things we do. There are lots of examples, but the most powerful was a couple. He was 17 and going to the war, so he didn't ask his sweetheart out on a date. She was really sad he didn't, but accepted it and off he went. The war finished, he stayed in London where he was demobbed, she stayed in their hometown.
Fast forward 55 years (yes 55!) and he moved to a nursing home near his home town as he hadn't married and was going back to be near his nephews and brother etc. (Has anyone guessed where this is going?) In the same nursing home was the lady he didn't ask out. Neither of them had ever married, had serious relationships and were just basically frozen in time. He said that he had regretted not asking her out his whole life.

They got married in the nursing home.

So, do it people, especially those younger of you, just do it and you regret if for a way shorter period of time. On average people regretted what they did do for around 18 months to 2 years (unless it's murder or something). Regret about what we don't do was around 17-20 years on average!

58, going on 59, so kind of relate to what you're feeling.

I think that it's a combination of things.

When you're 10, the year is a tenth of your life, so seems like ages.
When you're 50, it's 2 percent, so not so long.

Each year that passed, the more sh*t there is to fill your thoughts, and the more sh*t there is in the world, so the 'good times' become less common, causing you to hanker after them all the more.

It's just a sliding progression, along the road to Victor Meldrew


(I agree that the pandemic hasn't helped)

I've never heard it called a "metric" before, though .

It alway seems bigger, measured in metric